I've been rocking the dance floor since i was in high school..and now that my college days is about to end, I'm sure that I'm gonna miss my dancing career.For me being a dancer isn't just about how you move your body in front of the crowd. but it is about how you feel the music in every beat of your heart.Its about how the music makes you move,how you dance with emotions and how you deliver your message without speaking..
Dancers are the most passionate artist for me..I'll miss sweating during rehearsals,laughing with my co dancers and being scolded by our artistic director. . :( ..I hope that graduation is not the end of my career as a dancer..cause dancing is a big part of my life..^_^
"Stop Thinking, and start doing." - a quote I read a couple of months ago..
but how can you do if you do not know what to do.. or what you want to do?
years ago.. I didn't believe that I can actually see myself blogging or publicizing stories about my life. . but here I am.. actually doing it. See my problem here? It feels like a moment, I want these and that.. another moment, I don't feel like doing it anymore. I can remember a year ago, all I want is to top my exams, quizzes and everything about school. I want to make a lot of friends.. then during my 3rd year, first semester, it felt like I wanted to do something else, I want to model.. I want to show myself up, do have what it takes, to have the personality a model should have. It involves getting high grades in school. And probably being involved in more extra curricular activities. My energy was so high back then, felt like I'm getting what I always wanted.. I tried go sees.. I did not get into but at least it made me feel conquering my dreams. Also, I was inspired by America's Next Top Model show. Time passed, slowly, I got sick and had more realizations in life.. I fell into such a hypnotic stage, wherein I felt like the good things are taking its toll on me.. I felt very negative, lost self-confidence and seemed like I completely lost myself. And there, I saw a different me again, holding this Twilight saga book, I never thought I would read. I never thought of it but I really loved the book. I do not why these things are happening to me.. but right now, I feel so bored with my life.. I think I have nothing to do with. Unlike last sem, I am so grateful for everything. I show myself to everyone, and make them realize that I am pretty too.. But right now, I don't care about the attention Iam getting. I just wanted to live a normal college life. A thing I never dreamed of...
It stared when I was in High-School, and the thought of the dream never left my mind.
I was a shadow who just blended in the background, not close for even being recognized for anything; I knew deep inside my pretentious shell of silence, I do have talents that maybe someday, I would have the chance to share it to the world.
But growing up and dealing with priorities is utmost important, setting aside that dream in my head.
I consider myself as a pessimist; and It's a rather bad trait to get over with. I always thought to myself that I was never going to be good enough with anything. And the people that are close to me, doesn't seem to acknowledge those little steps I'd take, to make a dream come true. Sometimes inspirations are hard- it's like fire burning from within, and if there's no support, how can it grow?
I've always envied girls who have things that I would never have, or the traits that they have that will never be possible for me to gain. I always pitied myself; why didn't I look the way those girls do? The definition of beauty was almost the perfection; and I told myself "I'm screwed." And won't get accepted to be part of an industry that caters on girls who are really slim, taller than most of us and has traits and looks from a foreign culture.
A few years had to pass for me to realize that, beauty has many definitions. And for a person to accept oneself and see through his or her own imperfections is beautiful. To live a life pursuing what you dream off, to live for what you love and to set a goal for a certain dream to come true. All you have to do is try.. there is no harm in that.
So that's why I'm here. To take a chance- and maybe one day, I'll get my spotlight.
---
Hello everyone! I'm Sheara "Esh" Aquino. I'm aspiring to be a talent/model. I am interested to learn anything and everything about modeling. From pictures to ramp, and how does one basically get started. I would appreciate any comments or suggestions that everybody has in mind. And I strongly believe that everybody here in Models-Philippines share the same dream as well. :)
I was in a dark room. I was sobbing all by myself. I heard a rattling sound. I stood up and looked everywhere. But before my eyes, I saw a man standing in front of me. I got numbed. He walked upon through me and embraced me so tight that I couldn’t breathe anymore. He let go off of me. But then, there was a long sheer silence and tears suddenly streamed down on his face. “Oh my god!” I exclaimed. “It was just a dream. A bad dream tonight.”
In the midst of tranquility, several memories started to fill up my mind a sudden and hasty flashback of my good and bad memories. I closed my eyes. I reminisce the times when I was with my family and good old friends. We were so happy. I smiled back. Then I realized I was all alone suffering from the burdens of sorrow and agony.
I decided to go out of nowhere. I roamed around until I passed over a bridge with a lake nearby. The night was serene with its luna shining and glimmering over the indigo-colored sky. A zephyr blew. And the fawn-colored leaves started to drip from an old maple tree. The wind kissed my cheeks and my long black hair danced with it. I shivered.
I paced again and sat under an enormous oak tree when from a distant place, a silhouetted man was playing a harmonica. The melody soothed my ears. With a tree not afar, I tried to hide myself so that I would get a chance to take a glimpse of him. I intensely stared at him. And my heart was pounding hastily. When I was about to take one step away, the leaves under my feet crackled. I gasped. Then when I looked back again he was gone already. I wonder where he is. I just shrugged my shoulders and gave a sigh.
After a few seconds, I felt a warm breath tickling my neck. “Gee… is he behind me? What will I do? “. Then a baritonic voice speaks up. “Are you stalking me?”
“I… I… I… don’t know… I mean NO! I’m not!
“Then why are you here?”
“None of your business. “, I insisted.
“Okay.”, he answered shortly.
Then there was a long pause. “Alright… I thought I just heard something. Then there was you. I didn’t even know that there was still somebody staying out so late in the middle of the night. “
He didn’t answer. I decided to go home. But then he suddenly placed his arms around mine. He asked if he could talk to me…. “Sure!” I answered candidly.
There started our little chat. We talked and talked. We shared our stories… our jokes… and I felt his realness and sincerity. We laughed… stumbled… squealed and giggled.
The next day, we were together again. We went to the lake. We played tag along. We enjoyed each other’s company. We spent the whole day together. How I wish that the clock would stop from ticking.
Days pass by and I was all along with him. We became inseparable. We do things together. And when I’m alone, I can’t stop but think of him.
Then one day, I didn’t see him. Gloominess filled up my day. As I walked towards my room, I saw dozens of pink and white roses all over my place. I went to the veranda and see if he’s there but I found no one. Then suddenly, somebody hooked me up with a blindfold. He held my hand while I was taking my steps. When we stopped, he asked me to be barefooted. I didn’t give any word and my body just followed him.
He instructed me to take three steps forward. I did it and a tingling feeling occupied me. It was sort of a cold feeling and it felt smooth. He held my hand again… kissed it and said, “My princess… It’s a great feeling isn’t it? I want you to know that I’m finally falling for you…” I got puzzled. Still unaware of where we really are. He then removed my blindfold and I was very surprised to what I saw. I was like in a fairytale land. I couldn’t imagine myself standing on a ground with petals of roses scattered around with butterflies hovering around us. I was touched on what he did. I hugged him.
After that moment, we were both lying on the ground. We gazed the stars above. And the melancholy of the night made it even more romantic.
Several months gone by, we both fell in love with each other. I am deeply in love with him. The times without him, I feel like I’m dying. He became sweeter. He often serenades me and always sings for me. I was treated like a Cinderella in a pavilion filled with lilies and lavender. Everything with him seems to be perfect.
When the spring season comes, there is a huge celebration in our village so the villagers become very busy preparing and decorating the whole town. Days are only left for the much-awaited celebration and our perfect love turned into a catastrophe. We then seldom see each other. We even don’t have the time for each other so I felt like… it was over.
One cold night, he called me and tried to reconcile. He asked for forgiveness. I almost turned him down but my love for him dominated. We settled it all and everything’s fine again.
The next day, the weather’s great. The sun is shining so bright and the birds are twittering and chirping merrily. The villagers are now preparing for the big feast. The village is wholly ornamented with colorful stuffs. Others are preparing foods while others are already singing and dancing gleefully.
I got up from my bed. I washed my face and I combed my hair. I bathe and dressed up myself. I was very excited. Then I went to the shop to get my dress which I’ll be wearing for the grand night of celebration. Suddenly my whole world turned down when I saw him on the other side of the road talking to a beautiful lady. Things started to clash up my mind. It seems that they’re enjoying each other’s company. They were laughing. She put her arms around him. I got really devastated. So I ran back home. Tears filled my eyes. And I decided to nook myself in my room instead of having fun thinking of him with her.
But I got bored so I went outside. I didn’t talk nor glance to anybody. Then he saw me and immediately approached me but I declined to have a word with him. He ran after me but somebody urgently called him up, shouting his name. That somebody called him for the competition he joined so he said he’ll just talk to me later. I nodded. I didn’t mind the words he spoke. I didn’t even care at all.
I strolled along the town with the maple tree’s leaves dripping gracefully around me.
I hear shrieking voices… people are cheering loudly with their feet stammering. Everyone in the neighborhood was there. Then a very loud voice suddenly screamed! People started to scream, too. I got frightened. I panicked. I ran immediately. When I was already near the lake, there was a commotion. I got curious and saw what the commotion is up to. I had goose bumps. My feet got collapsed when I saw his own body lying on the ground. He looks so pale. In my thought, I want to escape but my conscience is bothering me. I meddled into the thick crowd to get nearer to him. I embraced him so tight and cried deeply with my breaths breathing heavily. I felt his coldness. I don’t want let him go. Then someone came to me and said,” He’s gone already… just let it go…” I screamed! “I don’t want to! Leave us alone! It’s not real. Don’t you see he’s just sleeping…”, I sobbed. “Please let him stay….”
I looked up and saw the lady he was talking to on the other side of the road. She said that she was sorry for what had happened. She confessed that they were only practicing a dance so he could dance with me on the night of the celebration.
Unfortunately, we can’t do it anymore and it was already too late because he’s gone. I was sorry for reacting stupidly without giving him the chance to explain everything. If I could just turn back the time, I’ll make it up for him.
On the night when the dreadful thing happened, I was all alone again. I went outside. I walked and walked until I reached the place where I first met him. I sat under the big oak tree. I slowly closed my eyes. I started to recall everything we’ve had; the times when we chase each other… the time when he proposed to me. I just smiled. Then the wind hushed softly and it felt differently. One thought came up to my mind… “It was him…” I whispered. I stood up and closed my eyes again. It feels like the wind kisses me. I unconsciously raised my arms and started to waltz around. I got teary-eyed. I was wishing that he’ll be brought back into life. But that’s fate so I whispered and mumbled to the wind… “I will always love you and my love for you will stay forever in my heart… that’s a promise!”
"If enduring pain, braving shame, despising one's self for the sake of affection and accepting misery without question is the definition of love - then, I LOVE YOU."
Thank you for loving me no way anyone has ever tried. You understand me and you know just how to make things right. Thank you for knowing all the little things that means so much to me. For everything you are, and mean to me and everything I am becoming because of you THANK YOU! Thank you for making my life happy. You deserve all the BIG LOVE in this world! I love you for all eternity. Again, Thank you, By!
Thank you for loving me no way anyone has ever tried. You understand me and you know just how to make things right. Thank you for knowing all the little things that means so much to me. For everything you are, and mean to me and everything I am becoming because of you THANK YOU! Thank you for making my life happy. You deserve all the BIG LOVE in this world! I love you for all eternity. Again, Thank you, By!
"Things in my life may be taking a downward spiral but your very presence in my life makes everything alright. I can still wake up and smile because I have you."
